Locked
by HR always live on
Summary: HR again. Set series ten, angsty HR stuff. Chapter 4 up.
1. Chapter 1

Ruth knocked twice on Harry's office door, an indication of the increased frostiness in their relationship of late. "Yes?" Harry asked feeling his heart sink as she opened the door.

"I have the latest intel from the Russian hack into the FSB database." Harry looked at the folder she dropped on his desk and he saw it was at least two inches thick.

"Do you want to give me a brief run down?" Ruth realised she couldn't feasibly ignore a request like that from her boss so she proceeded to explain the finer details of the Russian hack.

"So basically you're telling me that they can't watch us without this system being aware of it?

Is that right?" Harry asked.

"Essentially yes."

"Ruth, when is this going to end between us?" Harry asked as she headed towards the door. She said the one thing he never wanted to hear.

"There is nothing between us Harry."

"Then why won't you look at me?" Ruth took a deep breath and did, lifting her head. She found that she couldn't break the eye contact. His eyes were so attractive and she could read so much emotion there, just not quite sure what it was she was seeing. Disappointment? Anger? Hope? Dare she hope love? The moment came to an end all too soon as she made sure to look away first. Ruth put her hand on the door. It wouldn't budge. She pushed it a little harder.

"I don't believe it. Someone's locked the door!"

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><p><em>This is just a small chapter to test the waters. After Ruth's return I felt like I needed something more angsty to get my teeth into. Interest in more?<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_Well I seem to be on a fanfic writing roll so here is part two much earlier than expected. Its amazing what can be accomplished with an empty house..._

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><p>"Are you sure the doors locked?" Harry asked.<p>

"I'm an intelligence analyst, one of the best in the country. I think I can work out when a doors locked." They both sighed individually. "I'm sorry, that was snappy," Ruth said.

"Yes," Harry said in a quiet voice. He opened his desk draws looking for the spare set of keys while Ruth watched. It took five minutes or so but he realised they weren't there.

"Damn it, someone's planned this out. The keys aren't here."

"This is ridiculous," Ruth said shaking her head. "We have jobs, we have things to do."  
>Harry privately agreed and picked up the phone. "Erin, yes we seem to have a problem. Someone has locked the office and we can't get out."<p>

"We?"

"Ruth and I," Harry explained.

"I see," Erin said. "For the record, this is not my fault. I'll work on getting the keys back."

"Thank you." Harry put the phone down feeling very uncomfortable in a confined space with Ruth. Especially a Ruth who wasn't speaking to him.

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><p>"Give me the keys," Erin said standing in front of Dimitri's desk.<p>

"What keys?" he asked in an innocent voice that didn't fool her for a second.

"Dimitri…"

"Not a chance," he interrupted. "I am sick of the tension between the two of them, something needs to be done."

"Mm, and how do you think they'll react when they eventually get out of there and realise you were the one locking them in?"

"Maybe if they actually talk there won't be a problem," Dimitri said looking at the computer. "I'm working, do you mind?"

"This is your own funeral," Erin warned.

"I know," Dimitri said with a grin she found hard to resist, in spite of Harry's temper that he was risking unleashing. Erin smiled and thought maybe he had a point. She'd give them an hour anyway before trying again.

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><p>"Ruth, would you say something?" Harry asked. She was sitting on the sofa in total silence.<p>

"What would you like me to say?"

Harry sighed. Clearly she wasn't going to make it easy "Anything."

"What's the point?" she asked, her eyes catching his. "You don't value my opinion anyway."

"That is not true," he said.

"It is Harry," she replied. "I always think there's something there between us, and then you go and prove me spectacularly wrong every time I let my guard down."

"Give me a for instance?" Harry asked, surprised and hurt by the level of disappointment she was showing. He knew her well and knew that she probably felt double what she was displaying.

"Lucas," she said simply. "You've known me for nearly ten years, you know I don't do things lightly. And yet you chose to believe him over me. Anyway, we're not… together or in a relationship. So you don't owe me anything at all. No explanations, nothing."

Harry took a deep and steadying breath. "I never meant that to be a choice," he said honestly. "I thought… oh it doesn't matter."

"No tell me," she asked in a softer voice.

"I thought that Lucas was in trouble, I honestly did, like you. But I also thought he needed our help rather that being spied on. I didn't think that would help, and I didn't think you were wrong either. It was not a choice of him over you."

"Well, I'm glad but I still don't think you trust me. Because you don't Harry, you just don't and after all this time that… hurts." He could tell that admission was not easy for her. He felt horrified that she believed that. He got up from behind his desk and closed the gap slightly, standing in front of his desk watching her.

"I do trust you. I think I trust you more than anyone else who's ever been in my life. Most of the time I trust your judgement more than my own."

"I can't believe that," she said sadly. "Why would you propose to me if you don't trust me and for Gods sake why would you do it in a graveyard?"

"I was stupid," Harry said bluntly. "I saw you leaving me, slipping away and I couldn't cope. So I did the most stupid thing in my life. Because now you won't talk to me."

"I am talking to you. I have been for a year since that," Ruth said.

"But its not the same is it? You're so distant now."

"Do you really blame me?" Ruth asked surprised. "You have never once told me how you feel about me. Not once, even though I'm desperate for you to, you don't seem to realise it."

"Ruth, its so hard for me to put things into words. I don't find it easy but if you want to hear the truth, the truth is I love you."

"Don't tell me what you think I want to hear," Ruth said quietly, looking at her hands and shaking her head. "Just don't."

"It's the truth," he said, his heart breaking when he thought that she didn't believe him. It had taken him so long to say that and now he had she didn't believe him. He felt as though he was breaking from the inside out.

"How can you love someone when you don't trust her?" Ruth asked. Harry wondered if she was aware that she was skewering his insides with every word. "Because you don't tell me everything important about yourself." Harry knew what was coming next in this conversation. Sure enough he wasn't disappointed. "Elena Gavrik. And she's just one thing really. How can you explain to me that you were sleeping with a Russian traitor for years, fallen in love with her, and then neglected to mention it to the woman you say you currently love. I'm just here Harry. That's all. I'm a woman in your workspace who cares for you more than I should, so you react to that. All the women you have relationships with, you meet through work. I can't be one of the many Harry. I won't do it."


	3. Chapter 3

"How can you have got me so wrong?" Harry asked quietly. "I have done some stupid things in my life. My affairs with other women are definitely in the top five and Elena Gavrik is top of the list. I should never have done it for so many reasons."

"Is the fact that she was married one of them?" Ruth asked. Then she realised that had sounded very snide. "Sorry," she said briefly.

"Ruth, I was young and it was exciting. I had been trusted by my superiors to go to Berlin on a long operation and it was thrilling. I was surrounded by beautiful women, and yes, I had a long affair with Elena Gavrik which I shouldn't have done. It was reckless and stupid. But it's in the past and it certainly doesn't lessen my current feelings for you."

"Harry…" she shook her head sadly.

"I grew up and realised I'd made a complete hash of my life. I'd hardened my heart to everything and everyone around me. I decided that I'd lost my wife and there wasn't anyone in the world for me. Because no one would look at me or my history and believe I'd changed. Then I met you. And so quickly I realised there just wouldn't be anyone else. It wouldn't matter what happened. If you vanished back off to GCHQ, or if God help me you died, it wouldn't change the way I feel."

"You don't show it and it's so easy for you to say though," Ruth said quietly.

"No it isn't. Do you have any idea how hard this is for me to say?" Harry asked her. He closed the gap and took one of her hands in his. He waited for a few seconds but then felt her fingertips curl slightly around his, making him feel a touch of relief.

"Harry, do you know how hard it is to see you when you catch sight of her. You have feelings for her. I see it all over your face."

"Guilt. Regret. Nothing more. And I hate how much her presence hurts you. I can see that in your face."

"I'm sorry I'm so transparent," she said, still looking at the floor. Harry crouched down and made her look at him, their eyes connecting and things being passed in the silence.

"I love you, never think that's a lie." He closed the gap and gently caressed her lips with his own. It was brief and she didn't respond at all so he backed away quickly, straightening up as her face returned to the floor. "Clearly you don't have feelings for me. I'll just… Leave you alone. Once we get out of this damn office."

"It isn't that Harry," she said honestly, standing up. "I'm scared," she admitted. "I see you look at women, like Elena with that ghost of feeling in your eyes. There's two things I fear. I hate the feeling that you might replace me with one of these women. But most of all, I couldn't bear it if you looked at me the way you look at her. Such disappointment, it would hurt me. So it isn't that I feel nothing for you, it's the opposite. I feel too much. I'm too old to have my heart broken, because if you do it won't be fixed."

Her eyes were swimming with tears that she wasn't allowing to fall and he felt reassured. "Ruth, I haven't looked at another woman in nine year. Only you. I haven't dreamed of spending my life with. Except you. I can't promise that I won't let you down, and I can't promise that you won't be disappointed in me from time to time, because I'm not a decent man."

"Yes you are," she interrupted. "You wouldn't feel the guilt if you weren't."

"But I can promise you that I love you now, and I always will no matter what happens between us." Harry watched her as she seemed busy thinking. But then he'd expect nothing less from her after all. She looked at him and instinctively kept his mouth shut, knowing she was coming to her own conclusion. He felt elated when her hand rose ever so slowly and gently placed it on her cheek, feeling warm skin under her fingertips with the lightest pressure. He waited and saw the slightest change in her eyes. They were twinkling in the way they used to whenever she looked at him and he felt his heart lighten considerably. She leaned in and gently brushed her lips against his. He reacted but ever so softly, not wanting to push her too fast. It had taken so long to get here. He placed a hand on the small of her back as their lips kept touching and caressing each other. Tentatively he darted his tongue to taste the corner of her lips, scared she was going to push him away. It took perhaps a second before she reacted and opened her mouth to him, and the taste of him was heavenly to her. Finally their mouths were joining properly for the first time and she felt like she was flying. Everything she knew was being turned on its head in the best possible way.

Suddenly she heard a noise and broke away from him, his hand still on her back. She felt his warmth vanish a second later and turned seeing Erin in the now unlocked door. A blush crept up her cheeks as it became clear that they'd been seen.

"I found the keys," Erin said.

"I have to go," Ruth said quickly leaving the office. Harry could do nothing but watch her go.


	4. Chapter 4

Erin saw Ruth dash past her and go towards the registry as if nothing had happened and she sighed. Erin walked over to Dimitri's desk with a very disappointed look on her face. "Do they want to kill me?" he asked.

"Not nearly as much as they want to kill me," Erin said accurately. "I unlocked the door and their mouths were becoming very familiar with each other."

"Oh Erin, that's good isn't it?"

"If you think things were tense before, just wait until the next time they bump into each other," Erin said. "Ruth jumped away from him like she'd had an electric shock."

"She didn't?"

"She did," Erin said. "This brilliant idea of yours has just backfired spectacularly." Dimitri was left watching as Erin vanished, and he felt a definite sense of loss. But he wouldn't focus on that.

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><p>Ruth was halfway absorbed in her work, while the other half of her was reliving the way Harry's lips had felt against hers. Soft, yet quietly demanding. Inviting more. A touch that made her melt and feel like she never wanted to let go. His hand gently pulling her body against his on the small of her back, burning through the clothes she wore. And then the door opened and ruined it. But she couldn't deny how much she wanted to kiss him again. To feel him against her in such a wonderful way.<p>

She looked at her screen and realised she'd been daydreaming about his lips for the last ten minutes without doing any work at all. She looked to his office and saw the blinds flutter. He'd been watching her, she thought with a warm thrill. She had run away, so what must he be thinking? She looked at the closed blinds and wished she could see his face so she could at least try and work out what he was thinking. This was hopeless. She got up and without thinking, without analysing it, she went into his office. Without knocking.  
>Harry looked up from his desk and saw her, his eyes sparkling at her slightly. "Ruth…"<p>

"Harry, I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I shouldn't have run, I'm sorry."

"Why do you keep running?" he asked getting up from behind his desk and approaching her.

"I don't know," she said. "I don't want to."

"What do you want?"

"I want… you to kiss me," she said, making herself look at him rather than shying away as she normally did. He placed a hand on her waist but made no other movement towards her.

"I can't keep having you run away," he admitted. "I can't take it. If I kiss you, I need your promise that you won't run away from me."

"Harry, I won't. I love you," she said quietly with half a smile on her face. He mirrored hers and gently met his lips with hers. She reacted instantly, in love with how his lips felt against hers. She opened her mouth to him and deepened the kiss, her arms wrapping around his back, pulling him closer. And for a long time, they didn't stop.

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><p><em>I would have updated yesterday but couldn't log in. Not sure whether to make that the end.<em>


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